35 Degrees in the Shade (if only I could find some)

The dog days of summer are upon us...a mere 4 days after the solstice, the mercury cruised up past 35 degrees...rendering life impossible.
Port Alberni is a heat sink...if the weathers hot where you are...I guarantee it's hotter here...and the temperture is recorded in a cool spot...that 35 is more like a 37 or 38 on my front porch.
The picture of the blazing orb is the 7:30 in the evening sun...rentless into the night.
The dog has given up eating.
I could not muster the energy to mow the lawn...probably a good decision from a health perspective.
The plants I took from my sister yesterday are withering in their pots.
On the plus side I took my first swim of the year in the river...and bikinis are back,... and beer is getting tasty.
Tomorrow...even hotter. If you are skeptical, check out what environment Candada has to say about it...their always right about heat spells...its the rain they get wrong.

HOT SPOT

What I Want Most in Life

I spent this Saturday touring really pleasant and beautiful gardens on Denman Island with my mother and sister. I saw many wondrous things, and got a lot of inspiration for my own humble yard. It will take many years, and a lot of elbow grease, but I believe that it can be done. I also had one of those serendipitous moments where you realize what you want most in life. Was it more quality time with my family? Well spending time with them was great, but that's not it. Was it a truly gorgeous yard with majestic flowers? Well, that's one of my goals, but that’s not it either.

What I want most out of life (I discovered) is a large pond full of topless Nymphs. Not a large pond full of sculptures of topless nymphs (which is what provided the inspiration) but an ACTUAL large pond full of REAL topless nymphs. I will be breaking ground on the pond tomorrow, and I'm currently fielding applications for Nymphs. Just put Nymph in the subject line and email a photo of your nymphishness to planteroftrees@shaw.ca. I can't afford to pay much, but I promise lots of attention to your needs. Also required are dry nymphs to stand around shrubs and trees.
Anyway, I was up late quaffing brewskies at my friend Daniels birthday last night, so sit back and enjoy the garden art.

Taking Back Suburbia

I have a very nice old cherry tree in my back yard, Its about 70 years old, rotten in many spots, but it still cranks out about 400-500 pounds of tasty cherries every year…at least I think they’re tasty…I’ve never gotten the opportunity to eat any of the ripe ones. Typically about 4 days before they are perfectly ripe, the sky darkens, and a monstrous flock of starlings descends from the sky, consuming every one in about 4 minutes. It’s a wonderful event…similar to watching a plague of locusts destroy the remaining wheat in a drought year…real Old Testament style entertainment. But there’s a new scourge in town…the bandito brothers…racoons most foul.

Now ironically (as most things in my life seem to be) I had not one, but two bona fide “coon” dogs at my house. Now it’s true that Sasha is of dubious breeding, and the “coon hound” bloodline is a little polluted with lesser coon orientated breeds, but primarily (from the comments the coon hound people who’ve seen her) she is (in their estimation) “one fine coon hound bitch”. And she certainly acts the role. She chases all manner of animal, from cat, to deer, to goat, to wood bug, but when she spies a racoon in a tree, there is a discernable change in her demeanour…to put it bluntly, she goes berserker.
But that leaves the question of “Strider”, my friend Brooke’s pure-bred, pedigreed, money costing bona fide “Coon” hound. Perhaps he was a little sleepy eyed from a hard nights snoring…or a little tuckered out from playing with Sasha yesterday. In either case the racoon paid no mind.

Perhaps it’s because deep down inside, Strider is a Buddhist, and wishes no ill towards the racoons.
It also should be pointed out at this juncture, that Strider is only 8 weeks old, and has some trouble with the porch stairs.

Maybe next year, given the time to grow, and the training in the fine art of “cooning’, Strider can come back and finally, I will have a cherry pie.

Of course, there is still the matter of the starlings. People whom I’ve talked to about this problem suggest that I net my tree. These people are clearly not well informed about the size of this tree…it’s big…I would need a crane or a helicopter to get a net on it. Others suggest that I get a plastic owl. I have a plastic owl…it just gets pooped on.

Clearly, it’s time to pony up and get a gun. If Caddyshack has taught me anything, its that garden pests must be handled with extreme prejudice.
Seriously, with the racoons,bears, and occasional waterbuffalo roaming around these parts, I'm starting to care less and less about the slugs.

No More Mowing the Driveway

Anything to get out of weeding the vegetable garden. I thought it was time to fix up my eyesore of a driveway. Basically I've been parking my car on a ragged strip of my lawn for the last three years. So domestic beast that I am, I invested some time and labour into fixing it up a bit. maybe its all that Home and Garden TV I've been watching in my motel rooms...but I think I added some value to my property...not that I'm planning on selling, but the makeover guys would approve of this aftrernoon project. Simple, cheap, with highly visible results. Fortunately (for anyone who has any interest in my domestic projects, I remerbered to take a before picture for comparison. So there you have it... a driveway worthy of my fleet of beater cars...one day I might tackle the strip of weeds between my yard and my neighbours, but only if I can wrestle back control over it as it has been appropriated for a mountain bike launch ramp.
Other projects that I've been doing included renovating the upstairs bathroom. This project is now 95% completed, with only some trim and a fan vent left to build/install. I think it looks rather good, but alas, no before pictures, just an after.
Not a bad colour, and the flooring looks good too...some people advise against laminate in the bathroom, but its hard to find suitable lino in non-ugly patterns.
I also got some fish and plants for my pond (see previous posts). I've been having a few issues with pond maintenance, some due to algae, and some due to racoons. It is interesting to note that I did not have problems with racoons until I put the pond in...this is a common side effect of the tranquil water feature. There is nothing particularly tranquil about your dog barking its head off at four in the morning because racoons are splashing about in your pond. The algae was a bit problematic as well, because it was clogging my pump filter every other day. So I bought some pond weeds and some algae eating snails, and went away for a week, hoping for the best. I returned to a clogged pump, and it is my belief that the racoons ate my snails (I found only one broken shell). The pond expert at the local organic/hippy garden centre (just relocated a block and a half from my house) said that I needed fish to balance my ponds' plant/fish equilibrium, so I now have 31 little feeder goldfish (apparently one inch of fish per one gallon of water is optimal, but fish grow, so I settled on thirty plus a bonus fish), but I'm curious to see how they fair...how many will survive the racoons?? I feel like a pioneer, trying to eek out a living in the harsh prarie drought, over-comming the adversities of nature in suburbia.
I also found the most wonderful piece of furniture for my office, to replace the vanity, which finally got a home in my bedroom where it belongs. There's this place in Coombs that sells Chinese antiques, and it is marvelous. I highly recomend a visit, particularly if you have lots of extra money lying around. Actually, prices are not too bad, particularly for the large pieces. Unfortunately, I do not have a wall large enough to get the really impressive wardrobe type of cabinets, but this little gem works well in my house. I think I might be developing an asian furniture fetish.
These pieces are restored in China, so they are not 100% original, and therefore should not be brought to the Anituques Roadshow (unless you want to be mocked by snooty apraisers), but they have that authentic asethetic of turn of the century China. This piece is from Fujan Province, circa 1850-1900, and is constructed out of Chinese Fir (which is surprisingly light). It is a dowry piece, and is part of a larger set that came with a bride (not included with my purchase). It is painted red for good luck, and the faded characters on the front are for prosperity.

It has some useful shelves and little drawers inside, and smells of lacquer...a pleasing odor. Anyway, this store is worth visiting, for both the furniture and the really fantastic Chinese wisteria that grows on the house that houses the second bit of the shop. The main store is actually part of the Coombs garden centre. This place would be an ideal place to shop for wedding presents...if you knew anyone who was getting married, but you should probably avoid the overly ornate lacqured pices as some people find them a little on the gawdyside...hypothetically that is.

I close with some photos of my yard...the pretty plants that make me smile...when I actually get around to weeding my vegetable garden I will post some photos of that...or perhaps not.