And You Thought You Had A Crappy Day

So, you thought you might have had a crappy day. Just wait till the semi-tractor of human misery we call irony rolls over your sleeping body at 6:53 am. You may feel a little bit like Mr. Porcupine there.

After a long shift in a remote camp, I crawled into my frigid bed at about 1:30am on Thursday morning, with the intention of sleeping in. This was not to be. The phone rang at precisely 6:53, blending in with a dream I was having. I immediately assumed that it was work, and I lifted the receiver fully prepared to give any co-worker on the other end a piece of my mind. However, the voice on the other end turned out to be my wife Kira. This puzzled me at first, but judging by the tone of her voice, I deduced that something kind of serious had transpired.

“Someone just stole my car” said Kira.

This awoke my sleeping brain. “Someone stole the Firefly?” I responded incredulously (I wouldn’t of thought ‘91 Fireflies were a commodity in the criminal underworld.

Long story short, somebody (no leads yet) had stolen my former car, and most of Kira’s work gear, from in front of her hotel (hostel actually) in Downtown Victoria.

This creates the dual insurance dilemma: the car with the paper value of approximately nothing, but immense practical value (covered by ICBC): and the thousands of dollars worth of stuff that needs replacing (covered of course by the house insurance). We are the sort of people who have a very high deductible to lower the cost of annual insurance, so it’s going to be a cool grand to replace the stolen gear (the temptation to included a few high priced technical gadgets - like that 7.1 mega pixel digital camera that must have been in the car- is immense).

The irony in this little incident is that Kira is now without a car. How is that ironic, you ask? Well, a mere two weeks ago, right after I bought my truck, I insisted that she haul her decrepit Toyota Tercel to the wreckers. In retrospect a foolish move, but one does not anticipate grand theft auto when one is trying to free up driveway space. So its rental cars for 20 days, or until the Firefly is recovered. Apparently your car is not truly gone until 20 days have elapsed.

So, in short, this has become both a costly event, and a major pain in the ass.

The true tragedy is the loss of my coveted Virgin of Guadalupe dashboard ornament that has graced the dashboard of both the Firefly and my Volvo. Why I had not the sense to place it in my truck (I’m driving around without holy protection). On the upside, I did transfer over my “God Forgive George” memorial ribbon magnet.

So if you see the meth-head who stole the Firefly, punch him in the nose, and grab my virgin.

AMBER ALERT

1991 FIREFLY

RED, 2 DOOR, WITH CUSTOM ZEN DESIGN SEAT COVERS, PLASTIC VIRGIN STATUE ON DASHBOARD, LAO STICKER ON REAR WINDOW.

Global Warming: A Global Catastrophe, or, A Backyard Bonanza

This picture was taken on October 6^th. Last year, I was getting ready to put this tropical beauty in the basement to protect it from the impending frost. Now I’m not saying that tropical plants should do so well in the coastal fall, but I’m not really going to complain about it either.

I’ve worn rain gear at work precisely twice in the last 4 months, although there was one day I did get really soaked. Those aren’t bad odds. Usually I have a coating of mould on my body by October. Sadly, the lack of rain has prevented the fish from coming upstream into the dyke waterway across the street. I have not seen a single bear in my yard this year. Oh, and the Chantrelle mushrooms are not out yet. Hopefully they will pop out this weekend if it gets moist.

On the other hand, Daturas in full bloom are real pretty (and they smell good too). These ones are at a hostel in Huay Xai. This photo was taken on November 28^th, but of course, that is the middle of Lao summer. If they’re still blooming on my deck at Christmas, I’m going to get a little freaked out.

Upwardly Mobile Solution (Part 2) or My Baby Takes Her Top Off

In the tradition of Star Wars, and largely due to laziness and the lack of good photo taking light past 6:30, I’m telling this tale backasswards. This is my solution to my upwardly mobile dilemma, my last stand against the decent folk. In short, my vehicle is no longer the crappiest on the block. But I will dwell upon the motivations behind my extravagant purchase in fine detail later…for now…let us get to the bragging.

This is my new truck. Mine (not Kira’s). I have wanted this for a long time, and finally I went out and got one. Sure it guzzles gas at an astounding rate of three times what the Firefly does, but could you haul 2 bales of peat, 120 litres of shrimp- compost, and 100 litres of top soil in a single load in the Firefly. No, a resounding No.

Ironically, back about four months, Kira and I were walking around the neighbourhood of my friends Mike and Kara’s new house, looking at the houses with the nice gardens. In the driveway of the house with the nicest garden sat a little red Nissan 4x4 pickup, with a canopy, and I remarked “what a nice garden, I want a truck just like that one”. Well, on Friday, after a hectic spree of test driving and trips to the bank, I now own that precise truck.

For those of you who care about details, it’s a 1993 Nissan 4x4 King Cab Hard -Body SE. The SE means that it has power windows, locks, and a sunroof (but strangely no cup holders…will I ever own a vehicle with cup holders???). The canopy was an added bonus, although topless trucks are more practical, and currently the canopy is sitting on Mike’s lawn. With only 215000 sweet KMs on her, this vehicle is next to new in my books. She seems sea worthy and flaws are hard to find (although Kira made the comment that the brakes seemed stiff…by stiff I believe she meant that her foot did not have to travel all the way to the floor to induce stopping). The biggest flaw I can find is all that power stuff, and the fact that it is an automatic.

I didn’t bargain hard, but the compromise of $7250 from $7500, along with the tax evasion deal where he wrote down that he sold it for $3500, means that when you factor in the governments tax grab on the vehicle, I paid only what I would have for a $7000 truck (Jeff will be able to figure this little scam out for you dear sis). It also came with a half tank of gas (priceless these days), and a complete set of spare wheels with alloy rims (installed this very evening).

So now I cruise in style. A mere 1 day of ownership and I had her loaded with bicycles for my epic 10 hour annual ride from Mount Washington, across Forbidden Plateau, and then down into Cumberland. With sore legs and gootch, I sat in her on the way home, too tired to drive, but comfortable in the knowledge that the bed was loaded to the gills with shrubs and border perennials, donated from a friend of Kira’s family with ailing hips.

I think she sets off my garden nicely…both a tool and a decoration.